Hey there, I was just doing a minimal reload challenge with a gnome illusionist and felt like writing a bit about his adventures (if the language is off sometimes it's due to his peculiar grasp of English :-)) Enter Rakhit, the coy gnome:
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Gorion got slain. Weaker than I thought, then. And now this Imoen child is following me. She’s been pestering me as long as I remember but she might be useful now that I’m on my own. Also I like how she moves like a cat, hehe.
Me and my little Xarfax are going to have a great time, that’s for sure. But I need to get stronger, all this fumbling around with little illusions, bah. I have to take control of people’s minds, I have to make their bones pulverize while they move and stop time to have a hearty laugh before they hit the ground. And I will crush this spiky heap of metal who brings along a bunch of pathetic lackeys to make me bite the dust. Hopefully he won’t turn up too soon, though. I wonder if it’s even worth the pain to meet this Jaheira. As far as I know the old man, he’ll have picked someone high minded who won’t stop interfering with my plans.
“Out of the goodness of my heart”. That was so funny I had to agree. Smashing some hobgoblin heads will also come as a great entertainment… Almost hit myself with the sling seeing how those brutes ran after Xarfax while we spiked them. Just too good. Gave the ring back to the lady and she reimbursed me out of her chest. After she was gone.
Apparently my head’s worth some 200 coins. 200 stinking coins, pathetic. I spit on his corpse and won’t do him the honor of remembering his sallow face.
This Jaheira girl is not as bad as I thought. She urged me to accept her potions and did not make a scene when I thanked her and made clear that I would best travel alone in the future. Ah, these goody two-shoes, they won’t make it far.
Mr Mirrorshade has got some royal rooms indeed. I thought about staying for a week but this one night must do. I might want to explore the area around here a bit.
Ohohoho, a drow in the wilderness and graceful as a black swan on top of that! She sure is stranded without me and she knows she’s in my debt. How fortunate she is in her new kind master! Quickly buried that lame first lackey so that no one will find out he’s gone. The one thing that bugs me is that people will start looking at us. My little drow will have to wear a hood. We are a respectable group after all.
Ever seen an ogre slip on a slick of grease while trying to avoid arrows and bullets? Most entertaining. Even Imoen had to laugh. And Xarfax was allowed to scratch his eyes out when the poor brute went down. My analysis revealed that he had a belt with him that will turn a woman into a man. But why on earth would I want to do that with my two little gazelles I wonder?
Finally got to Beregost. It was night already so I wanted to have a comfortable place to rest soon. In one of the Inns some half-wit peasant insulted me and I imagined his entrails gracing the Inn’s wall which calmed me down a bit so I could muster a friendly “peasant, begone!” He went on rambling incoherently and threatened to beat me. The problem was people were looking and being new in town and having my little drow with me I decided to lull him for now. Disturbing how you can’t spill guts when you feel like it. But what did Gorion always fail to say? Be cunning, pay insults back later and you’ll make it to the top.
Met a surly dwarf called Kagain who wants me to find an aristocratic snotnose. When he said I would get 15 gold pieces to do that I couldn’t resist laughing and agreed. Let’s see how that works out. He sure won’t try and touch my little cats, his head is full of money. This will also make him quite manageable I guess.
You have to take hard decisions sometimes. We met a girl who played at sorcerer too much. She was about to be punished by some – yes, pompous creeps in red robes but we didn’t let them (not least because they didn’t have to offer anything but insults). Now, that little thing is cute. But unfortunately she immediately sided with Imoen and I’m just too fond of my little drow (and I’d rather enjoy seeing Imoen struggle for ascendancy). So she had to go. I know it’s sad that some people are not allowed to bathe in the sun but such is life (I wonder what my little drow would say to that, haha).
My beard grows and my head goes up to some 350 coins. Once I’m at a thousand I shall bother to investigate. Kagain said usually dwarves don’t scream like girls.
Hum, I met Drizzt Do’Urden, another Dark Elf, in the wilderness. He slaughtered a horde of gnolls faster than I could count them. Once I recovered from the shock I could see that my little drow was impressed, too. How unfortunate. She might get the wrong ideas. I have to admit I’m a little annoyed.
680 coins and an unladylike lady who liked to die. Almost makes me seem important. Which is not a bad thing. I felt like throwing a round for my kitties. I spent some 60 coins in blood wine and made my little drow drink half a dozen mugs of shadowdark ale (ah, the irony of it). Then we had a little game seeing how many pints of mead Kagain would down before he would become too slow to stop Xarfax pinching him with a bone needle. Eleven. Quite a stout dwarf, I have to admit. In the end, I was too drunk to stop the imp but after a good nap Kagain was stitched up again, hehe. Imoen just shook her head.
Next morning we met a wizard called Edwin. I was intrigued so I agreed to help him complete his task of killing some woman to the west. Then I noticed his amulet which was quite powerful indeed. After moving off into the wilderness I decided to get rid of him. No use having a rival in my group. Too bad the amulet somehow dissolved with him. Let’s have a look at that woman. Maybe she has something I need.
Met a little girl atop a waterfall who cried and said she missed her cat. I figured I could frighten her and see if she dares the jump but then I reckoned I also have to keep Imoen in good humor so I got her the cat (or what was left of it). My little drow was rather puzzled. Sigh, I’m so torn…
Something useful at last! I found an ancient tome in a dank cave full of Xvarts. My analysis suggested that it will make me… more impressive. Which is exactly what I need.
Gorion got slain. Weaker than I thought, then. And now this Imoen child is following me. She’s been pestering me as long as I remember but she might be useful now that I’m on my own. Also I like how she moves like a cat, hehe.
Me and my little Xarfax are going to have a great time, that’s for sure. But I need to get stronger, all this fumbling around with little illusions, bah. I have to take control of people’s minds, I have to make their bones pulverize while they move and stop time to have a hearty laugh before they hit the ground. And I will crush this spiky heap of metal who brings along a bunch of pathetic lackeys to make me bite the dust. Hopefully he won’t turn up too soon, though. I wonder if it’s even worth the pain to meet this Jaheira. As far as I know the old man, he’ll have picked someone high minded who won’t stop interfering with my plans.
“Out of the goodness of my heart”. That was so funny I had to agree. Smashing some hobgoblin heads will also come as a great entertainment… Almost hit myself with the sling seeing how those brutes ran after Xarfax while we spiked them. Just too good. Gave the ring back to the lady and she reimbursed me out of her chest. After she was gone.
Apparently my head’s worth some 200 coins. 200 stinking coins, pathetic. I spit on his corpse and won’t do him the honor of remembering his sallow face.
This Jaheira girl is not as bad as I thought. She urged me to accept her potions and did not make a scene when I thanked her and made clear that I would best travel alone in the future. Ah, these goody two-shoes, they won’t make it far.
Mr Mirrorshade has got some royal rooms indeed. I thought about staying for a week but this one night must do. I might want to explore the area around here a bit.
Ohohoho, a drow in the wilderness and graceful as a black swan on top of that! She sure is stranded without me and she knows she’s in my debt. How fortunate she is in her new kind master! Quickly buried that lame first lackey so that no one will find out he’s gone. The one thing that bugs me is that people will start looking at us. My little drow will have to wear a hood. We are a respectable group after all.
Ever seen an ogre slip on a slick of grease while trying to avoid arrows and bullets? Most entertaining. Even Imoen had to laugh. And Xarfax was allowed to scratch his eyes out when the poor brute went down. My analysis revealed that he had a belt with him that will turn a woman into a man. But why on earth would I want to do that with my two little gazelles I wonder?
Finally got to Beregost. It was night already so I wanted to have a comfortable place to rest soon. In one of the Inns some half-wit peasant insulted me and I imagined his entrails gracing the Inn’s wall which calmed me down a bit so I could muster a friendly “peasant, begone!” He went on rambling incoherently and threatened to beat me. The problem was people were looking and being new in town and having my little drow with me I decided to lull him for now. Disturbing how you can’t spill guts when you feel like it. But what did Gorion always fail to say? Be cunning, pay insults back later and you’ll make it to the top.
Met a surly dwarf called Kagain who wants me to find an aristocratic snotnose. When he said I would get 15 gold pieces to do that I couldn’t resist laughing and agreed. Let’s see how that works out. He sure won’t try and touch my little cats, his head is full of money. This will also make him quite manageable I guess.
You have to take hard decisions sometimes. We met a girl who played at sorcerer too much. She was about to be punished by some – yes, pompous creeps in red robes but we didn’t let them (not least because they didn’t have to offer anything but insults). Now, that little thing is cute. But unfortunately she immediately sided with Imoen and I’m just too fond of my little drow (and I’d rather enjoy seeing Imoen struggle for ascendancy). So she had to go. I know it’s sad that some people are not allowed to bathe in the sun but such is life (I wonder what my little drow would say to that, haha).
My beard grows and my head goes up to some 350 coins. Once I’m at a thousand I shall bother to investigate. Kagain said usually dwarves don’t scream like girls.
Hum, I met Drizzt Do’Urden, another Dark Elf, in the wilderness. He slaughtered a horde of gnolls faster than I could count them. Once I recovered from the shock I could see that my little drow was impressed, too. How unfortunate. She might get the wrong ideas. I have to admit I’m a little annoyed.
680 coins and an unladylike lady who liked to die. Almost makes me seem important. Which is not a bad thing. I felt like throwing a round for my kitties. I spent some 60 coins in blood wine and made my little drow drink half a dozen mugs of shadowdark ale (ah, the irony of it). Then we had a little game seeing how many pints of mead Kagain would down before he would become too slow to stop Xarfax pinching him with a bone needle. Eleven. Quite a stout dwarf, I have to admit. In the end, I was too drunk to stop the imp but after a good nap Kagain was stitched up again, hehe. Imoen just shook her head.
Next morning we met a wizard called Edwin. I was intrigued so I agreed to help him complete his task of killing some woman to the west. Then I noticed his amulet which was quite powerful indeed. After moving off into the wilderness I decided to get rid of him. No use having a rival in my group. Too bad the amulet somehow dissolved with him. Let’s have a look at that woman. Maybe she has something I need.
Met a little girl atop a waterfall who cried and said she missed her cat. I figured I could frighten her and see if she dares the jump but then I reckoned I also have to keep Imoen in good humor so I got her the cat (or what was left of it). My little drow was rather puzzled. Sigh, I’m so torn…
Something useful at last! I found an ancient tome in a dank cave full of Xvarts. My analysis suggested that it will make me… more impressive. Which is exactly what I need.