(Right, im not entirly sure if this is the right category for this, its Baldur's Gate based or is it off topic? Hells, just move if its an eyesore! Anyway, thought i would share an intresting fact about myself which i have kept as a secret from a young age, so if your intrested enough to read then by all means, but its kinda long but i will try and cut it down as much as possible so your eyelids dont flutter shut half way through.)
When i was young it was discovered i was Dyslexic, i was okay at Math and Art but when it came to words? i just couldnt put two and two togeather, as a result they obviously gave me easier homework, simpler tasks, they even hired a helper teacher to follow me around like i was going to swollow my own fork at lunch.
As a result i was outcast by most of the other children of my school who considered me stupid or dumb and hated the fact i got away with more and received easier or less homework than them, even the teachers treated me like i wasnt right in the head, often speaking down to me and regarding me like the simple boy of the class, despite their best efforts i could not learn to read.
So i lacked many friends, boo hoo me right? so i turned to video games to keep me busy after school and on the weekends, one such game was Baldur's Gate, up to this point i had played only fighting games, Street Fighter, Tekken you know all that good honest clean fun, i'm talking originals here! none of that 'Street Fighter X MEGA mash of doom meets Tekken!' they have now days, back then it was simply 'Street Fighter' and 'Tekken', but im so getting off topic here.
For whatever reason me and my old man were at the shops and i saw this game box, Baldur's Gate it said on the front adorned with a skull, i remember seeing it in passing in a game magazine i had and thinking 'wow that looks cool'. Now at that age i didnt much understand anything about Dungeon's and Dragons other than what i remember watching as a cartoon with the teenagers who teleported into the Dungeon's and Dragons world, anyone remember that? but regardless i wanted it! Dont ask me why, why does a young lad want anything? so i kept poking me dear old dad until finally he caved in a bought it for me, i had even less experience with PC's at this point but regardless i had my heart set, we got home and installed it (I am an only child so it wasnt like i had to worry about siblings stealing it off me or hogging the computer). Woosh, the endless flurrys of writing kept popping up, no words were spoken (or at the least very little) yet i couldnt explain it, but i was hooked, i wanted to understand what was going on!
I always got as far as the Bandit Camp and couldnt get any further due to my lack of understanding of what i was suppose to do, it frustrated me to no end. Now my dear old parents were an okay sort (still are an okay sort i should say) but they didnt pay much attention when i asked them to read it to me, occasionaly my old man would humour me and sit and read a few lines to me but would soon lose intrest, eventually i had no choice but to give up. But i set myself a goal, i had to learn to read so i could continue the story!
I began forcing myself to learn the words in the text, i would slowerly mouth out the words, i mean try and understand 'perceptive' or 'benevolence' as a dyslexic child and believe me it was no easy feat. I would copy countless words down and at dinner i would ask my parents about each one and asked for them to explain the meaning, they did but would tell me to shush and eat my dinner after awhile, so i took the words to school and got my teachers, helpers and even occasionaly the students to explain a word.
Overtime i began to form a great grasp over words, it took time sure, but i was making exceptional progress, many of the teachers and helpers were confused about my progress, believing they themselves were the reason, i didnt dare say why, proberly because at the time even i didnt really know and i was often told playing video games rot the brain and i should spend the time trying to learn. One night my father walked in while i was on the computer playing Baldur's Gate, he told me i should stop and study since i was making great progress according to my teachers, (little did he know i 'was' studying technically) i had even started making some friends since i was slowerly moving up the educational ladder and being given harder homework. I told him i was getting better because of the game hoping he would be happy or understand, he didnt believe me as i knew he wouldnt and we got into an argument the result being he removed the disc and snapped it in two. I was heartbroken, for a long time i lost any desire to learn to read and i took a uturn in my studies, my dyslexia continued and some said got worse.
When i was about 11? or was it 12? maybe later? i dont know, its a long time ago now anyway, i caught wind of Baldur's Gate 2 coming out, i was exstatic! I saved up my allowance and went out and bought it on the day it was released, i got it home and opened up that crisp box, you remember the days games had that new box smell? untouched by any other hands? Yeah those were the days. I popped in the discs one after the other 'well atleast this part was the same as the original' i remember thinking. It finally finished after ages tapping my finger on the cheap wood desk and i turned it on, but... same problem, i couldnt read it, i was angry, so angry, i remember slamming the keyboard and crying, yeah yeah laugh it up, i suppose i hoped more would of been spoken instead of making the player read but it wasnt to be.
But now i had a goal again, i began to study harder, i had got into secondary school by this point, due to my educational difficulties i got stuck in 'dumb' person school, you could consider it for the 'rejects' who couldnt get into the 'nice' school, the few friends i did have went to the 'nice' school while i was stuck in the slum school and even there i was the 'dumb' kid, i was immidently a target for bullying since even there i got stuck with a helper teacher (who looked like a undead, smelled of fish since all she ate at lunch was a fish sandwitch, had an infected toe the size of a grapefruit and constantly told me my eyes sparkled in the mornings *shivver*) and by this point i had turned to eating as a way to deal with my depression so i had attained a rather large stomach from a young age which added to the list of reasons for making me a target, but i'm drifting off onto a sob story here so let me get back on track!
I began studying harder in the same fashion as before, taking each word i came across at a time however this time i was older and wiser (well maybe not wiser, but older) i began stringing words and meanings togeather fast, i remember i would always play out the dream sequences in my head, copying Jon Irenicus word for word, trying to master his accent, trying to imagine the hand gestures he would cast, the way his forhead would wrinkle after you gave you response (even if i didnt understand most of them), hmm i also remember having a crush on Imoen but thats an entirly diffrent story! stop judging me!
The pace in which i was learning to read once again shocked my tutors and teachers, i began placing words and sentences togeather that even they had to think about on occasion, before i knew it my helper teacher was given the heave ho (albeit at alot of insisting from myself) and by the time i left school i was regarded as one of the more gifted writers of my year, earning several rewards for my short stories and writing skill, i was by no means a novelist or great poet but i was still proud of what my skill had become.
I kept my secret for how i became a better writer hidden for many years only telling close friends and family but i thought i would share it with anyone brave enough to read this endless pile of text! I'm 24 years old now and have a successful writing job, i'm healthy, recently out of a long term relationship but thats okay she was a vicious harpy anyway! and 'still' play both games even now, now i'm not saying i dont struggle with words anymore, every now and again i will have a mind blank and have to look a word up like anyone else or see a word and think 'jesus what the heck does that mean!?' but its shifted from shruggling to understand 'is' to having a hard time understanding 'circumlocution', i mean seriously who comes up with these words? Even now i find myself typing a word and thinking 'hey! i remember hitting this word in Baldur's gate for the first time!' though apprently i do have annoying habit to speak in a weird accent on occasion but i guess thats the side effect from learning your vocab from a game right?
Thank you for reading, well if you read it all! And thank you game designers for all your hard work, should anyone say games are only good for rotting the brain i'm living proof that not to be true. And if you spot any spelling mistakes then well... get over it, im dyslexic remember? haha!
Kind Regards,
Jonathan AKA Dreyy
When i was young it was discovered i was Dyslexic, i was okay at Math and Art but when it came to words? i just couldnt put two and two togeather, as a result they obviously gave me easier homework, simpler tasks, they even hired a helper teacher to follow me around like i was going to swollow my own fork at lunch.
As a result i was outcast by most of the other children of my school who considered me stupid or dumb and hated the fact i got away with more and received easier or less homework than them, even the teachers treated me like i wasnt right in the head, often speaking down to me and regarding me like the simple boy of the class, despite their best efforts i could not learn to read.
So i lacked many friends, boo hoo me right? so i turned to video games to keep me busy after school and on the weekends, one such game was Baldur's Gate, up to this point i had played only fighting games, Street Fighter, Tekken you know all that good honest clean fun, i'm talking originals here! none of that 'Street Fighter X MEGA mash of doom meets Tekken!' they have now days, back then it was simply 'Street Fighter' and 'Tekken', but im so getting off topic here.
For whatever reason me and my old man were at the shops and i saw this game box, Baldur's Gate it said on the front adorned with a skull, i remember seeing it in passing in a game magazine i had and thinking 'wow that looks cool'. Now at that age i didnt much understand anything about Dungeon's and Dragons other than what i remember watching as a cartoon with the teenagers who teleported into the Dungeon's and Dragons world, anyone remember that? but regardless i wanted it! Dont ask me why, why does a young lad want anything? so i kept poking me dear old dad until finally he caved in a bought it for me, i had even less experience with PC's at this point but regardless i had my heart set, we got home and installed it (I am an only child so it wasnt like i had to worry about siblings stealing it off me or hogging the computer). Woosh, the endless flurrys of writing kept popping up, no words were spoken (or at the least very little) yet i couldnt explain it, but i was hooked, i wanted to understand what was going on!
I always got as far as the Bandit Camp and couldnt get any further due to my lack of understanding of what i was suppose to do, it frustrated me to no end. Now my dear old parents were an okay sort (still are an okay sort i should say) but they didnt pay much attention when i asked them to read it to me, occasionaly my old man would humour me and sit and read a few lines to me but would soon lose intrest, eventually i had no choice but to give up. But i set myself a goal, i had to learn to read so i could continue the story!
I began forcing myself to learn the words in the text, i would slowerly mouth out the words, i mean try and understand 'perceptive' or 'benevolence' as a dyslexic child and believe me it was no easy feat. I would copy countless words down and at dinner i would ask my parents about each one and asked for them to explain the meaning, they did but would tell me to shush and eat my dinner after awhile, so i took the words to school and got my teachers, helpers and even occasionaly the students to explain a word.
Overtime i began to form a great grasp over words, it took time sure, but i was making exceptional progress, many of the teachers and helpers were confused about my progress, believing they themselves were the reason, i didnt dare say why, proberly because at the time even i didnt really know and i was often told playing video games rot the brain and i should spend the time trying to learn. One night my father walked in while i was on the computer playing Baldur's Gate, he told me i should stop and study since i was making great progress according to my teachers, (little did he know i 'was' studying technically) i had even started making some friends since i was slowerly moving up the educational ladder and being given harder homework. I told him i was getting better because of the game hoping he would be happy or understand, he didnt believe me as i knew he wouldnt and we got into an argument the result being he removed the disc and snapped it in two. I was heartbroken, for a long time i lost any desire to learn to read and i took a uturn in my studies, my dyslexia continued and some said got worse.
When i was about 11? or was it 12? maybe later? i dont know, its a long time ago now anyway, i caught wind of Baldur's Gate 2 coming out, i was exstatic! I saved up my allowance and went out and bought it on the day it was released, i got it home and opened up that crisp box, you remember the days games had that new box smell? untouched by any other hands? Yeah those were the days. I popped in the discs one after the other 'well atleast this part was the same as the original' i remember thinking. It finally finished after ages tapping my finger on the cheap wood desk and i turned it on, but... same problem, i couldnt read it, i was angry, so angry, i remember slamming the keyboard and crying, yeah yeah laugh it up, i suppose i hoped more would of been spoken instead of making the player read but it wasnt to be.
But now i had a goal again, i began to study harder, i had got into secondary school by this point, due to my educational difficulties i got stuck in 'dumb' person school, you could consider it for the 'rejects' who couldnt get into the 'nice' school, the few friends i did have went to the 'nice' school while i was stuck in the slum school and even there i was the 'dumb' kid, i was immidently a target for bullying since even there i got stuck with a helper teacher (who looked like a undead, smelled of fish since all she ate at lunch was a fish sandwitch, had an infected toe the size of a grapefruit and constantly told me my eyes sparkled in the mornings *shivver*) and by this point i had turned to eating as a way to deal with my depression so i had attained a rather large stomach from a young age which added to the list of reasons for making me a target, but i'm drifting off onto a sob story here so let me get back on track!
I began studying harder in the same fashion as before, taking each word i came across at a time however this time i was older and wiser (well maybe not wiser, but older) i began stringing words and meanings togeather fast, i remember i would always play out the dream sequences in my head, copying Jon Irenicus word for word, trying to master his accent, trying to imagine the hand gestures he would cast, the way his forhead would wrinkle after you gave you response (even if i didnt understand most of them), hmm i also remember having a crush on Imoen but thats an entirly diffrent story! stop judging me!
The pace in which i was learning to read once again shocked my tutors and teachers, i began placing words and sentences togeather that even they had to think about on occasion, before i knew it my helper teacher was given the heave ho (albeit at alot of insisting from myself) and by the time i left school i was regarded as one of the more gifted writers of my year, earning several rewards for my short stories and writing skill, i was by no means a novelist or great poet but i was still proud of what my skill had become.
I kept my secret for how i became a better writer hidden for many years only telling close friends and family but i thought i would share it with anyone brave enough to read this endless pile of text! I'm 24 years old now and have a successful writing job, i'm healthy, recently out of a long term relationship but thats okay she was a vicious harpy anyway! and 'still' play both games even now, now i'm not saying i dont struggle with words anymore, every now and again i will have a mind blank and have to look a word up like anyone else or see a word and think 'jesus what the heck does that mean!?' but its shifted from shruggling to understand 'is' to having a hard time understanding 'circumlocution', i mean seriously who comes up with these words? Even now i find myself typing a word and thinking 'hey! i remember hitting this word in Baldur's gate for the first time!' though apprently i do have annoying habit to speak in a weird accent on occasion but i guess thats the side effect from learning your vocab from a game right?
Thank you for reading, well if you read it all! And thank you game designers for all your hard work, should anyone say games are only good for rotting the brain i'm living proof that not to be true. And if you spot any spelling mistakes then well... get over it, im dyslexic remember? haha!
Kind Regards,
Jonathan AKA Dreyy